Mary taught me that you kind of want to step away from a steak when you’re cooking it to get a nice crust on it. So tonight I decided that, while I cooked up my steak I would write that last blog post. Well, I burnt my steak.

Now, I’ve been on sort of an all-meat diet for a few days. To be honest, I haven’t been crazy about the way it’s made me feel but I know that it’s really the fastest way to lose weight. Also, Jordon Peterson talks about his strict all-meat diet and he’s the kind of thin I’d like to be. Anyway, all that to say that I was kind of committed to this all-meat diet thing. It was kind of a self-discipline thing for me.

But then I burnt my steak.

I tossed it in the trash and grabbed my phone to order dinner. I decided to look in the Healthy section and I found this place that looked pretty good. They had a lot of steak and chimichurri stuff but it came with mashed potatoes so I kept scrolling until I got to the salads. There was a beat salad there that looked interesting. No meat on it though. Then I had one of those George Castanza moments where I decided to do the opposite. After that, I sat on the couch brooding that I’d ordered an unsatisfying dinner.

Holy shit! It was fantastic! It was an experience. Fuck the all-meat diet. I need vegetables. Maybe if I get Mary over here next week, I’ll order a couple more of those.

Also, Mary, if you’re reading this. Regarding that iodine. I know I jokingly said it provided radiation protection - it does but in a nuclear attack, that would be like having a couple of floaties in a tsunami. I do recommend that you start taking like a drop or two every day. It’s an essential element that protects your immune system and makes your whole bio-electric system run better. I know that sounds like hocus pocus so I’ll say this. I am waking up with morning wood like I haven’t had since my twenties - I shit you not.