I’m so exhausted with being sad all the time. But I can’t stop. I wake up feeling sad and it doesn’t go away for the rest of the day. And several times a day, I hover just above actually breaking down and crying. I’m suffering and I’m tired of it. Anyway . . .

This psychologist I’ve been listening to poses the question: What would you be like if you stopped procrastinating and instead did the things you know you should do but put them off all the time? If you lived like that for five years . . . 10 years, how would your life change?

He says there is good science that says that when you push yourself, and put yourself in situations like that, your brain builds entirely new neural pathways. This implies that there are parts of you that you can unlock, almost like a video game (leveling up). This is the potential that we all carry around with us but we have to stress ourselves and challenge ourselves to transform ourselves like that. It’s pretty interesting to think about and really suggests that this is how we reach our potential.

This also means that it’s okay that I’m not satisfied with who I am. I have the power to be a better person, develop a vision, work towards being that person. But it takes an emphasis for personal responsibility. And I want to be someone who is worth admiration. I need a strategy to put that in place. An individual focused set of ideas. I need a meaning to offset this tragedy that I’m going through. I think that meaning needs to be to become a better person.