I walked up to Vons tonight to buy a box of Spindrift. I walked by This woman sitting in a car with her hand dangling out the window and a burning joint at the end of it and that smell hit me and it was almost like meeting an old friend.

I realized I hadn’t thought about it in a long time. But you know what it made me think of? The last time I’d quit, I was on walk with Mary and Niko and we caught the smell of weed and Mary asked if it tempted me. I answered her truthfully that it didn’t tempt me so much as I just like the smell. The funny thing is that I think the smell of really good beer tempts me but weed not so much, even though I d say I like weed more.

Anyway, I remembered how proud I was that day at not feeling any desire to smoke again. But then I realized that I did end up smoking again. And I have no memory of being tempted to do so or coming to the decision to do so, I just know I must have. I think it must have been the day the cops showed me the door. Anyway, it made me sad thinking about that.