This is the week I move forward with a bunch of stuff. I really started exercising pretty regularly twice a day last week and I intend to continue that. (These are fairly moderate exercises - jogs, bike rides, long walks - but I do intent to increase the intensity as I move along.) I really need to start looking for an apartment. It’s gonna hurt, I won’t lie. If I can get something for under $2K a month, I’ll be extremely lucky. If we were going to stay together, I’d say it was stupid. But you’ve made it clear that’s not going to happen, so I guess it’s time.
I also want to start working on good habits so I was looking around for a good self-discipline e-book. The old me would have just grabbed the one on top but I’m trying to be more conscious about these things so I set about reading reviews. I actually spent a lot of time on this - it wasn’t as easy as I’d thought. Some books sounded like they were written like text books that refer to charts and graphs - not great for an e-book. Others sounded like they were all fluff. I finally settled on one called, No Excuses! by Brian Tracy. I’ll review it here as I listen to it.
While I was reading reviews an ad popped up that said something like, “Single? Browse Local Singles For Free.” Just this morning on my jog, I was thinking about the nightmare of having to date again. The idea of being intimate with someone different after 30 years of being with you. It’s something that scares the shit out of me. Anyway, I figured, what the hell, It’s free. Might as well see what’s out there. So I put in an old email address and declined to fill out anything else. Sure enough, a couple of clicks in, your profile pops up, fully filled out, complete with pictures you said you’d taken for me and pictures of you with my daughters. It felt even more trashy cuz I was using Duck Duck Go and was so instantly traumatized that I immediately closed the window so I have no idea what website I was even on. It was a little bit like finding your daughter on a porn site - finding your wife trolling for dudes on a dating site. Clearly, I’m wasting my time with this blog.
The self-improvement stuff is definitely not a waste of time. I need to do that. But holy shit . . .