I finished my SD book a few days ago and so I was thinking about what I should do next. I was thinking about the things you said and the things I said (I’m speaking to Mary, which I shouldn’t be doing - this is not a blog to Mary) - anyway, I was thinking about how shocked I am every time Mary starts reminding me of the shit I’ve done over the years. It’s like a bucket of cold water being thrown in your face. How could I forget all that shit? And every time its like waking up all over again. It’s horrible.

Anyway, I wanted to get a handle on what is going on there. And how I manage to make Mary so angry she cries without even trying. She says I’m pushing buttons but I don’t know what I’m doing. Anyway, I was looking around for a book on emotional intelligence. I really want to know what’s going on with me. What my deal is, cuz I’ve got something wrong with me.

Anyway, I found a book that looked interesting and the reviews were pretty good so I got it and started listening. What a piece of shit. I mean it was barely above the quality of the books I used to write for the Romanians. Pure shit. I should have know right away because the first sentence was the author congratulating the audience for buying his book. That is never a good sign. But stupidly, I kept with it for about 15 minutes before my frustration got the best of me and I turned it off.

I’ll keep looking.